Twice before he’d had brides on his arm,
both were unions that just didn’t last
so he browsed through a match-making web site,
avoiding mistakes of the past.
His selection, first time, was on looks;
she was stunning with long flaxen hair,
with hips that swung as she walked
and she proudly displayed a great pair.
In the kitchen she was at a loss,
while housekeeping was not her forte,
then he saw her one night with his friend,
doing things that were rather naughty.
He wouldn’t be caught that way twice,
so his second choice was the flip side,
she cooked like a cordon bleu chef,
though was short and rather too wide.
She fed him ’til he’d thought he’d burst,
but her bedroom skills were sadly lacking
so before forced obesity killed him,
they divorced and he sent her packing.
He felt wounded, dejected and desperate,
like his heart had been torn from his chest,
though he knew there’d be someone to love him,
how to find her would be quite a test.
Then he sat at keyboard and searched
through a mail-order site that he’d found
but so many choices just made him confused
and his head kept on spinning around.
How could he solve his dilemma,
where was his companion for life?
He was getting too old for a lover
and too fat for a cook as his wife.
He just wanted a caring companion,
some affection and friendship he’d prize,
Well, I’m happy to say that he made it,
and love twinkles again in his eyes.
As they walk side by side on the sea shore,
he’s lost weight and no longer alone,
while she runs ahead chasing sea gulls,
or retrieving the sticks that he’s thrown.
© Pete Stratford
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